Date:	2005-09-01 02:29
Subject:	late night bit o' ramble? oh yeah.
Security:	Public
Mood:	creative
Music:	Dredg - Bug Eyes

I'm curious as to why I always get the strongest desires to design, paint, program, and be creative when I really can't do anything about it.

Right now I'm dead tired, my eyes hurt right now by keeping them open. Yet I really want to start up Photoshop and being work on a design. Even more so, I'm tempted to open up the new set of acrylic paints I bought a few days ago and start on a painting I've been brooding over for a few weeks now. Then of course there's always Dreamweaver taunting me, two fold with that one even! I have both a new website I'd like to build, and my movies php project I'd like to enhance.

Oh what is a nerdy art lover to do?

Speaking of all that however: I've decided that all the art I produce from here until November I will be putting up for sale at an art show Cory told me of. At least I think it was in November. I'm also going to buy an incredibly cheap (read: shit) SLR camera off Ebay soon and take up photography. Maybe in hopes of selling a few pictures as well? Who knows.

Who knows if I'll even do half the things I just mentioned? I'm currently completely enthralled in the 6th Harry Potter book. By the hold it has over me, I doubt I'll do anything until I finish it: Which should only be a few nights from now. I have quite a few things left unfinished at the moment because of them: A halfway dismantled new-ish skateboard, a almost completely dismantled computer case, and a completely  broken computer left in shambles (though that's waiting for the next payday), and a room that's pretty much in complete disarray.

I like the direction I'm going in. Really, having so many unfinished projects is quite nice. Knowing any day / night of the week I will pretty much always have something to occupy myself, no matter the situation is slightly comforting, in an odd twisted way.

Now I just need to get my own place, with a few extra rooms. Than I could have a room to a project, or multiple projects as that would go. It always amazed me how many traditional artists I know go for months on end working on a few different paintings, never really calling any finished. Nor how many of the artists of history I've studied would have a timeline of a painting go for 2 years and than some and still be called "incomplete". It makes total sense to me now.

Maybe that's what a "real" artist feels like most of the time? A scattered brain and an attention span of a gnat?

It's all a step away from madness - and I love it.

Date:	2005-08-01 02:58
Subject:	Random?
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

I have a strong desire for a small mongolian beef and large pepsi from the Wok In on Tracy Blvd. It's 3am.

What's wrong with me?

I think I'm pregnant.

Date:	2005-07-28 15:47
Subject:	omgkthx! mymoodiconrocks!
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy
Music:	The kittens playing

WHOO HOOO!

I'm getting my tattoo tonight!!!! :)

edit: yeeeees! Here's a horrible picture of my incomplete tattoo! I need to wait for this to heal before I can color the rest. The windmill, some of the flowers, and the riverbed all need major work. As does the sky.



Soooooo happy!

Date:	2005-07-26 11:51
Subject:	good times... dot dot dot
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	office noise

good job me.

got another speeding ticket this morning.

74 in a 55. no more traffic school to help me out either.

so yeah, i won't be fixing my computer anytime soon.

fuck. FUCK.

Date:	2005-06-26 20:08
Subject:	Kittens and Cuddles!
Security:	Public
Mood:	geeky
Music:	Bad Religion - Inner Logic

I'm feeling to lazy to type anything up. So onto the pictures.

( Kittens ) and ( Cuddles )

Also, i am now the proud owner of a Chaintech 6600GT video card :) Nick = happy boy with happy toys.











... don't judge me.

Date:	2005-06-17 02:58
Subject:	How does one occupy themselves?
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	X-Files

"My Movies" overview
"My Movies" project

please2commentkthx!

Date:	2005-05-17 20:01
Subject:	Good bye my love.
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue

Tomorrow you will be taken away from me.

You will not be forgotten.

Date:	2005-04-30 03:04
Subject:	When is work to much?
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted
Music:	Millencolin - No Cigar

so before reading the rest of this, take note: I think this entry turned from me reflecting on my life, to apologizing for it. But just bear with me on this one, I'm trying to find myself.

So, as the subject says: ( when is work too much? )

Sometimes it is an apology away from borderline.

Date:	2005-04-17 00:27
Subject:	More Pictures :D
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick

I took more pictures of my Miata yesterday. Here are my ( favorites )

Date:	2005-04-11 00:57
Subject:	New Pictures
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

Today my father got to take a little flight in ( this )

Date:	2005-03-21 09:31
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	groggy
Music:	The Crystal Method - True Grit

which Goonie are you? quiz by: carrie

fuck ya! can't phase me!

Date:	2005-03-05 17:33
Subject:	yup.
Security:	Public
Mood:	content
Music:	Foo Fighters - New Way Home

Even though many of you disagree with my choice in vehicles, I'll go ahead and post pictures of my new car anyways.








Enjoy or don't, i don't care. I'm happy.

Date:	2005-02-19 01:41
Subject:	bang
Security:	Public
Mood:	morose
Music:	Hoobastank - Let It Out

i've been staring at this blank entry for 10 minutes now...

it never stops. it never has.

think what you will of this. i'm to drained to think of it myself. =\

Date:	2005-02-12 04:16
Subject:	w t f mate?
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely
Music:	Matchbook Romance - My Eyes Burn

great, now i'm lonely and letting my mind play tricks on me.

i wish i could figure myself out. sorry.

Date:	2005-02-12 02:03
Subject:	new stuff...
Security:	Public
Mood:	energetic
Music:	Days of Thunder

So two new pictures for you today.

My new dog.

My new plugs.

And that's it.

-nick

Date:	2005-02-09 00:37
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	listless
Music:	Edgewater - Eyes Wired Shut

edit: well that was a mistake.

Date:	2005-01-31 02:25
Subject:	oh how i want to be free
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely
Music:	Queen - I Want to Break Free

In the past month or so I've said this on a number of occasions: "Karma is a bitch, and I’ll get mine soon" (or something along those lines). And well, I'm getting mine. I hurt someone so bad, and knew that I wouldn't be untouched in the pain. I just didn't think I'd get it like this.

I remember talking to Allison before we got together, and explaining how when I'm at school I'm really by myself, and all alone. I have few friends there, and the ones I do have I don't hardly ever see. Well I've felt like I'm at school for the past few days, all alone.

I wanted it, and I got it. I now have a daily grind at work. Asking for days off is getting more and more difficult, they've even been stacking the responsibilities I have on top of me. I come home from work every day, sit down at my computer, and do almost a lot of nothing. Seeing friends is difficult - they've almost all moved away. Or they just don't return calls. Or fitting each other into our schedules just doesn't work. Times don't line up or something similar.

Even though I have had a fairly eventful weekend, I'm still sitting here on a Sunday night feeling like I haven't gotten to see the people I want to see. Feel's like I haven't done the things I've wanted to do. Basically I'm not the least bit content in going to sleep like this.

And here's the part I don't know if I should say. Even though I'm the one that left Allison, I miss her. Maybe it's just my weekend adding emotions to the mix, and maybe it's not? Regardless - it sucks.

So in the end: I'm alone. I did it to myself. I hate it. Yes, I'm a fuckin' moron and a loser, all rolled up into one little fucked up package.

Yeah this was a pitty party, I know. And I think I said to much. Ignore me if you please.

Date:	2005-01-23 15:15
Subject:	that night.
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	The Beatles - Get Back

( words are not necessary )

Since when is moving money around amongst ones bank accounts, through an automated computer (online), excessive? I was just charged a 5 dollar "excess activity fee" for transfering money. wtf?

(i'll have more to post later. thought i'd mention that though)

Date:	2004-12-29 14:57
Subject:	another circus show.
Security:	Public
Mood:	pleased
Music:	Smile Empty Soul - Who I Am

So last night I painted a picture. More like - went crazy. But either way: I'm happy with it. It's very much inspired by Jackson Pollock and his work. Though it's no where near the detail or greatness (obviously) as a pollock.

( the painting )

And on an unrelated note: I bought some clothes today. A new pair of shoes, a "hoody" or sweater, or whatever the hell they're called now, and two t-shirts. I'm diggin' the shoes and sweater. It's nice having new clothes.